Randoms
by Laine -Formerly SageRain
Summary: A bunch of random fics. And Spray cheese. Referance to Yoai. New Chapter Added Like 10000 days ago. Old-fic No Updates
1. Disclaimers

Hey all! It's Sage again with some mis. weird Gundam weirdness. I just repeated myself heh. So sit back and enjoy.  
  
I do not own Gundam Wing charictars, plot or other such oddities.  
  
My G-boys sexual orientation is their own consern. (if your wonderin they're Bi)  
  
Feedback... whoooo! 


	2. ButtMonkey

ButtMonkey  
Sage Da Phreek  
  
  
(Quatre is arranging a closet of lickable food stuffs.. aka condiments)  
  
Duo:(comes up behind him) Koi, what are you doing?  
  
Quatre:(holding a jar of pasta sauce) Taking inventory, make sure we're not missing anything  
  
Duo: For supper?  
  
Quatre: Nope for desert  
  
Duo:(confuzzled) Pasta... for desert?  
  
Quatre:(give look)  
  
Duo:... oh  
  
(Wufei walks by)  
  
(Both bishies look innocent)  
  
Duo: That was close  
  
[Somewhere else]  
  
Wu-man: Sorry, I couldn't get the spray cheese, maxwell and winner were in the pantry and I didn't want to look suspiciouse  
  
Zechs: It's ok my little buttmonkey, we still have icing sugar from last time  



	3. Religion Talk

Religion Talk  
  
(5 G-boys are sitting in a circle obviously in the middle of a talk)  
  
Quatre:... and that's why I can't drink alcohol  
  
Trowa: Whoa  
  
Quattre: What's your religion Duo?  
  
Duo:(with a Straight face) I'm a Henthoist  
  
Wufie: What's that?  
  
Duo: I believe God is a chicken and we live on his cosmic egg  
  
Heero:(under his breath) buck.... buck... buck.... BAGOCK!!  
  
Duo:(glomps Heero) OH GREAT CHICKEN LET ME COME INTO YOUR COSMIC BARNYARD AND LET ME PECK AT YOU ETERNAL CHACKEN FEED!  
  
Heero:...  
  
Duo:(dragging Heero off) OH GREAT CHICKEN! OH GOOD CHICKEN! OH WELL HUNG CHICKEN!  
  
All:(sweat drops)  



	4. School House Song

On Top of the School House  
Sage Da Phreeq  
  
A randomness that came from a question at lunch one day about my current place of residence; and on impulse I answered....  
  
  
On top of the school house  
All covered with cheese  
I lost my poor Quatre, when somebody sneezed  
  
He rolled off the building  
And into Chocolate sauce  
And then my poor Quatre he needed a wash  
  
We washed him with icing  
And Chocolate sprinkles  
Then we dressed him up and called him Pinkles  
  
He was all squishy  
And made thwappy thwappy sounds  
Then my poor Quatre fell into the ground  
  
Several feet under  
He met Heero and the Shinigami  
Then they snogged him and ate Salami  
  
The salami swizzled  
And then it popped  
Then the Wu-man, in he dropped  
  
All three jumped him  
And covered him with mud  
Then the three Bishies, sucked his... Blood  
  
It wasn't gory,   
Though kind of sick  
Then the author developed a tick  
  
It twitched long  
It twitched hard  
And the author knew she was no bard  
  
So she stopped writing,  
She stopped now  
Now she wants you to stop, calling her a cow!  
  
End  
  
I can actually see Twowa singing the first bit. 3x/+4 is EVIL! 4x/+3 ain't that bad though! 


	5. Don't Touch Your Sister

Don't Touch Your Sister (she's mine)  
Sage Da Phreek  
  
I am a sick and twisted individual; but unlike the sick and twisted people at Bandi, I do not own the G-boys. I do not own the song Don't Touch Your Sister.  
  
WARNING: DxR, 6xEveryone else. EVERYONE ELSE!!!!  
  
**********  
  
Dorithy: Zechs got to talk to you sit yerself down,   
Dorithy's got something to say  
What you ought to know 'bout the birds and the bees  
And to keep you from going astray  
There are some rules you men folk must foller  
And life in thes house'll be fine  
You can bang anything you find in the holler  
But don't touch yer sister she's mine  
  
You can jack yerself off jest as much as you want  
Maybe Noin will give you a hand  
Or go ask Treize 'cause he's been a waiting  
For you to grow into a man  
You can practice on Gundam's but jes you be careful  
Of slicing it off with a lazer  
No telling where else you can goe dunck yer biscut  
Yest don't touch yer sister she's mine  
  
Don't touch yer sister  
Or you'll be in trouble  
'Cause that sort of thing   
Just ain't done  
If you feel it a twichin'  
Down in yer britches  
Go look some where else for yer fun  
You can practice on Professers but jest you be careful  
Of picking yer dick on his nose  
No telling where else you can go dunk yer biscut  
But don't touch yer sister she's mine  
  
You can go hump Howard cause if yer real gental  
He'll probly won't know that yer there  
But when yer finnished jest button his flannles  
And prop him back up in his chair  
You can have first choice of the servents on call  
Or 1 or 2 when they come next time  
No telling where else you can go dunk yer biscut  
But don't touch yer sister she's mine  
  
Ozzies arn't bad when you know how to catch 'em  
Just stop and they'll think that yer dead  
Don't turn your back on Alex cause he scratches  
But Mueller just loves giving head  
You can do what cha like to Hilde and Sally  
O three and O four and O Five  
You can bang anything that you find on the Million  
Jest don't touch yer sister she's mine  
  
You can bang anything that you find on the colanies  
But don't touch yer sister she's mine  
  
End  
  
*************  
  
I just had to get that out of my system. I know Weird-Eyebrow-Chick doesn't have a hick accent, it just works, k? 


End file.
